Oh, For a Muse of Fire
by shield-maiden
Summary: Pyro has writer's block and decides needs to find himself a muse. Gambit tries to help and Colossus follows. But instead of helping they only cause trouble.
1. Amusement?

Disclaimer: I am Miguel. And I am Tulio. And they call us Miguel and Tulio. In other words what I'm trying to say is that I don't own x-men evolution in any way, shape or form.  
  
Before continuing be aware that there are many occasions in this story where the characters will be acting out of character for the fun of the story. You have been warned.  
  
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John sat idly at his computer desktop. Crumpled papers lay all around the trash bin. He sighed as he leaned back in his chair, staring at the still blank screen.  
  
Gambit sauntered into the room, "What's wrong mon ami?"  
  
"Writer's block," John sighed. " I need a muse, mate."  
  
Gambit let this phrase percolate in his brain for a while as he tried to make out what his Australian friend had just said. A. Muse. Mate. Did he mean amusement? "Amusement," Gambit asked. "Oui, Gambit knows exactly where you can find it."  
  
"You do?" John nearly fell out of his chair in surprise. It seemed unlikely to him that Gambit really knew what he was talking about but it was best not to shatter the Cajun's hopes of helping out.  
  
"Oui, the new park. Follow Gambit, he'll show you." He grabbed John by the arm and pulled him out of the depressing workroom. As they passed Piotr in the hallway he stared at them and yelled, " Where are you going?"  
  
"We are in search of amusement," Gambit said.  
  
"Yes, but where are you going?"  
  
"The park," John told him.  
  
"And you think you'll find some there?"  
  
"All I need is one, mate. There could be hundreds of muses out there but there is only one for me."  
  
Figuring it was just some language barrier thing Piotr just shrugged his shoulders. "Can I come along?"  
  
"Oui, now let's go. Gambit wants to make sure he gets a good seat on the swings."  
  
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Upon arriving at the park Gambit immediately ran towards the swings and fought a small four-year-old for one shaped like a horse, eventually coming out victorious with the small child sitting in the sand crying. Colossus scanned the playground until he found what he was looking for, one of those sand scooping things with the levers, and contently began building a tall hill. Pyro on the other hand was not enjoying himself as much as his comrades were. Looking around for a muse he was soon sure that there were none to be found at this location, unless they were disguised as a tired mother, babysitter, or any of the small children racing about.  
  
Pyro calmly walked over to Gambit, who was contently swinging back and forth. "I thought you said I'd find a muse here. I don't see any!" Gambit slowed down and looked Pyro in the eyes.  
  
"Gambit never said he would find you a muse. He said he would find you amusement, like you asked for."  
  
"Like I asked for?" Pyro thought about this for a moment. Was it possible that Gambit had misunderstood him? "Well, now you know I'm looking for a muse. Do you know where I could possibly find one?"  
  
"How about you hold auditions as the mall," the Cajun suggested. "There are many pretty girls there."  
  
"I suppose. Hey Colossus! We're leaving!" The massive Russian quickly returned to Pyro without complaint.  
  
"Where are we going now," Colossus asked as they began to make their way further and further from the sandbox and swings.  
  
"The mall," Pyro replied. Colossus stopped dead in his tracks. "What's the matter," Pyro asked.  
  
"I don't want to go yet."  
  
"Why not? You've already played in the sandbox, gotten sand stuck between your toes, what else is there to be done?"  
  
Colossus straightened himself up to his full height before replying "I have yet to go down the slide."  
  
"What slide," Gambit asked.  
  
"That one." Colossus pointed to a tall spiral slide covered on the top half.  
  
"Gambit does not want to go on that slide."  
  
"Colossus, if I let you go on the slide can we leave," Pyro asked. Colossus nodded. "Fine," Pyro waved him off and Colossus began to skip and run to get on the slide.  
  
"I haven't been on a slide since I was seven," Colossus reminisced.  
  
" I can only guess why," Pyro stated after catching Colossus's comment. "Don't go," he heard Gambit yell. The large mutant began to climb the ladder leading to the top and Pyro started to doubt the Russian's ability to fit in the slide and started to laugh to himself. There was no way Colossus would continue once he saw there was no possible way for him to fit.  
  
Colossus reached the top, put himself feet first, grabbed the bar hanging above his head, and pushed off. Pyro stared in wonder as Colossus disappeared down the slide. "What do you know? He fit." But his joy was soon interrupted by a sudden cry of "HELP!"  
  
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What happened to Piotr? Will John find his muse? All these questions and more shall be revealed in the next chapter. Please review and tell me what you think ok? With any luck I'll have another chapter out soon. See ya! 


	2. Smokey says

Disclaimer: " Last night Darth Vadar came down from the planet Vulcan and said that if I didn't ask Loraine to the dance he'd melt my brain." I don't own x-men evolution so don't melt my brain for borrowing the characters for a while.  
  
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Oh, no, Pyro thought as he quickly ran to the man's aid. Gambit followed and climbed up the ladder to assess the situation, Pyro checked it out from the bottom, hoping to find Colossus wedged between the two sides of the slide, something easily fixed. This, however, was not what he found.  
  
It turned out that Colossus had only made it to the first curve of the slide, meaning his legs were sticking out but the his top half was concealed by the overhang at the top of the slide. "Get me out," Colossus yelled.  
  
"Did not Gambit warn you," the Cajun asked, "Gambit knows that the slide means death to all who enter it."  
  
"You only said that you didn't want to go on the slide," Colossus whined.  
  
"Oui, and then Gambit told you not to go."  
  
"I didn't hear that part."  
  
"Well, Gambit said it."  
  
"Will you shut up," Pyro spat. "I'm starting to feel like I'm babysitting a pair of three-year-olds. Now, lets think logically. Colossus is stuck. There's no way he'll he able to slide out. Blowing him up is no good."  
  
"Blow me up," the Russian yelped.  
  
"Hush, I'm trying to concentrate."  
  
"Shh," Gambit mimicked. "He's trying to concentrate."  
  
"I've got it," Pyro exclaimed. "I can melt him out!" He flicked at the lighter but for some odd reason it wouldn't light. He tried again to no avail. "Um, Gambit. you don't happen to have any matches on you, do you?"  
  
The Cajun checked the pockets of his trench coat and after pulling out various pieces of lint and string he produced a matchbook with a single match inside. "Here, should Gambit light it for you?"  
  
"No!" Pyro exclaimed. Gambit stared at him, a little hurt. "I just don't think it's safe for you to play with matches, that's all."  
  
"Oh, oui, matches are very dangerous."  
  
"That's right," Pyro intoned. He pulled out the final match, struck it on the matchbook and it flared to life. But, just as suddenly as it had come to life it was dead, blown out with wisps of smoke to tell the tale. Pyro looked at Gambit for a second. "Gambit", he asked.  
  
"Oui?"  
  
"Did you just blow that out?"  
  
"Oui."  
  
"Why did you do that?"  
  
"Fire is very dangerous. Gambit quotes Smoky the Bear by saying that only you can prevent forest fires."  
  
"That's right, Gambit. But, if you remember correctly I was going to use the fire to melt Colossus out of that slide so we can go to the mall so I can find my muse!"  
  
"Do not worry so much. There are many people in this world who carry matches. you just have to ask someone if you can borrow one."  
  
"Just ask if I can borrow one?" John let this settle in his mind. "Yeah, I guess I can do that." John made his way through the park, asking every man, woman, and child but still came up with nothing. "How is it that no one here is a smoker or even carries a lighter for fun," he cried. " The plan was so simple and yet it went so very wrong!" He sat down and began to pout.  
  
What was he gonna do? He had to get Piotr out of his play-equipment-prison. He could just leave him there and come back later but that just didn't seem right. Plus, leaving Piotr there could cause a major traffic jam of small children.  
  
John sighed as he looked down at his feet and noticed a glint of silver. Digging with his fingers he unearthed. a quarter. "Yay," John exclaimed. Getting up from the bench he proceeded to do a little dance as he sang:  
"I found a quarter, I found a quarter  
I found a quarter today, hey, hey!  
I found a quarter, I found a quarter,  
I found a quarter today, hey, hey!" He ended with a little "superstar" pose for good measure. "And I know just what I'm gonna do with it." He frantically searched around for a pay phone. "There it is," he cried, looking across the baseball field. He ran across the field as quickly as possible, arriving out of breath. Unfortunately what he hadn't seen from across the field was that there was someone making an "oh so important" phone call, one of those that just by listening to the person's replies he could tell that they could just as easily be using up their own phone line.  
  
"There's an emergency! I have to use the phone," John told them.  
  
The person turned around and glared at him before continuing their conversation. "Yeah, Jackie? I'll have to call you back, this guy says it's an emergency." Pause. " No, no, I'll call you. Bye." The caller hung up and waved Pyro to the phone before starting off.  
  
"Wait, wait," Pyro called, grabbing the person by the shoulders, " What's the number for nine-one-one?" The person stared at him for a second in disbelief. Pyro then promptly smacked himself in the head for stupidity. "Never mind, I remember now."  
  
He placed the coin in the slot and listened to the clinking noise it made. He quickly dialed the three numbers and waited to the answer at the other end. A female voice picked up, "Hello, you've reached 9-1-1. What's the problem?"  
  
"Um, I know this is gonna sound funny, but my friend is stuck in a slide."  
  
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Well, that's it for now. I'll try to get another chapter out soon. Please review and tell me what ya think and thanks to all of you who have already done so. Until next time, see ya! 


	3. What kitten?

Disclaimer: " Well, Neal's head comes to a point." Anyone who thinks I own the x-men characters also have heads that come to points. I'm simply borrowing the acolytes for a little while, they will be returned to Marvel in one piece when I'm done with them.  
  
Here's the next chapter, enjoy!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Nothing was more satisfying to Pyro than watching the fire department rescue Colossus from his play equipment prison. What would he have told Magneto if they hadn't come? He would have never been trusted with them ever again! Oooh, that wouldn't be good for his wallet; no extra babysitting money? "Let's not perish at the thought," Pyro told himself. He started thinking to himself when one of the firemen walked up beside him.  
  
"How did you say this happened?"  
  
"What happened," Pyro asked.  
  
"How did your friend manage to get stuck in this slide? He's a little old to be going down a slide."  
  
"Gambit told him not to go," the Cajun wailed, coming to Pyro's other side, " But," Pyro clamped his arm around Remy as he butted in.  
  
" But he wanted to save a kitten," Pyro told him, " Right, Remy?"  
  
Gambit gave Pyro a confused look before asking, " What kitten? Gambit doesn't remember any kitten. Piotr wanted," Pyro elbowed him, shutting Gambit up.  
  
"I'm confused," the fireman told him, " Was there a kitten or wasn't there?"  
  
"There was," Pyro exclaimed, giving Remy a dirty look before continuing. "His niece just got a kitten for her birthday and decided to take it for a walk.the cat escaped and, and um, ran up the slide. Piotr, good uncle that he is, followed the kitten but unfortunately got stuck."  
  
"So, where's his niece and the cat," the fireman asked.  
  
" Well, after trapping the kitten, his niece was able to retrieve it and went home," Pyro replied. 'Please let him buy it,' Pyro silently prayed. The fireman looked at him for a while, unsure of how to respond. He then shrugged and went to check on how the others were doing freeing the man.  
  
They did eventually get Colossus out, not too much the worse for the wear. " Next time you go chasing a kitten make sure you can fit," the fireman told him.  
  
The Russian stared at him, " What kitten," he asked.  
  
"The one you tried to rescue."  
  
" I didn't rescue any kitten. I wanted to go down."  
  
"Colossus," Pyro exclaimed, " I'm so glad you're all right!"  
  
"What kitten is he talking about," Colossus asked.  
  
"Oh dear, you must have bumped your head; jogged your memory. We'd better get you home." He turned toward the firemen. "Thank you so much."  
  
"What are you talking about, Pyro," Colossus asked. "Don't you want to find your muse?"  
  
"Ix-nay on the use-may," John told him.  
  
"But."  
  
"I'll talk to you about it later. Now let's get going. Gambit, are you coming?"  
  
"Oui," Gambit exclaimed, running after them. "Wait for Gambit!" They stopped walking in order to let the Cajun catch up. "Now are we going to the mall?"  
  
"Yes, Gambit," Pyro told him, starting to walk again.  
  
"Can we stop at Bath and Body," Gambit asked. Pyro stopped dead in his tracks and turned to face the Cajun, "Where?"  
  
"Bath and Body. Gambit wants to pick up some lotion for his poor hands."  
  
"We are NOT going to Bath and Body to pick up some smelly lotion for your girly hands! We are going to find me a muse!"  
  
"How come you get everything," Gambit pouted.  
  
" 'Cause Magneto likes me best," Pyro stuck out his tongue.  
  
"You lie," Gambit exclaimed.  
  
"Wanna bet? Now let's get going, I wanna get home before dinner."  
  
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What do ya think? Will Pyro find his muse? Will Gambit buy his lotion? What does Colossus want? Maybe some of these answers will be revealed in the next chapter. I'll try to get it out soon. Don't forget to review. Until next time, Bye! 


	4. It smells like the forrest!

Disclaimer: " Are you suggesting, madam, that there is a law compelling gentlemen to lay hold canine bowel movements?" Yes, there is a law compelling gentlemen to do just that. And there is a copyright law that says if I don't want to be sued by the rightful owners of x-men evolution (marvel and the WB) I have to put in a disclaimer.  
  
Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've been busy with a new puppy and had a terrible writer's block. It seemed as if my muse * cough_pyro_cough* was cheating on me and giving writing inspiration to someone else. So, without further adieu the next chapter for your enjoyment. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Okay. Now, Gambit, stay close and don't go wandering off."  
  
"Why? Gambit is not a child," the Cajun protested.  
  
"Because first of all I don't want to lose you in the crowd. And secondly I don't want to buy one of those kiddie collars that you Velcro around their wrist and Velcro the other one around your own. Not only because it would be incredibly embarrassing, but also because we already have one at home."  
  
"Why don't you tell Colossus to stay close?"  
  
"Because I trust him more than I trust you."  
  
"Why do you not trust Gambit? Is not Gambit trustworthy?"  
  
"No, you aren't. Sometimes you act like a two-year-old. Now let's go."  
  
They hadn't gone far before Gambit spied Bath and Body. He tugged on Pyro's sleeve, hoping to change his mind about going inside, but Pyro didn't turn around. They began to get farther and farther away when Gambit decided to make a mad dash for it. If he hurried he could buy the lotion and come back before Pyro even noticed he was gone.  
  
Pyro continued to look for a decent place to hold the auditions. It was so crowded. Maybe he would be better off making posters and holding them somewhere else at a later date perhaps, even though it wouldn't help his writer's block.  
  
"Well, I guess this is it, mates. Where's a print shop so I can make some flyers and we can go home?" He turned around to face Piotr. He quickly looked to either side of the large man, hoping to spy Gambit. When he didn't find him he frantically looked around for him, hoping to see him somewhere near-by. No such luck. "Oh no! He's loose!"  
  
"Gambit," Colossus called.  
  
"Remy," Pyro cried, " Remy where are you?"  
  
"Excuse me," an old woman asked, " I couldn't help but over hear. Have you lost your son?"  
  
"Oh no, Remy's not my son."  
  
"A nephew then. What does he look like?"  
  
"He's got brown hair, red eyes with black, a little goatee, um, a little taller than me."  
  
"How old is he?"  
  
"I don't know, probably around 20;maybe a little younger. I'm not really sure, we never got into age."  
  
"And he needs a babysitter," the lady asked appauled.  
  
"Sometimes, but most of the time we just lock him up in a cage in the basement."  
  
"You're inhuman," the lady gasped, striking him with her purse and hurrying off.  
  
"I was joking," Pyro told Colossus. " Sabertooth's the one we usually have to lock up. The cage has got his name on it and everything. I was thinking of getting him a collar that said "kitty" on it but I thought that would be a little much. What do you think?"  
  
Colossus stared at him. " You need psychological help. Do you know that?"  
  
" I do not! My parents dragged me to a psychiatrist since I was five. Then I joined the Acolytes and stopped going since it never did me any good anyways. Now come on, we need to find Remy."  
  
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Pyro fearlessly lead Colossus through the sea of people, keeping his own eyes peeled for any sign of the Cajun. "If I were Remy, where would I be?"  
  
"Bath and Body," Colossus exclaimed. "Gambit wanted to get lotion!"  
  
" That's right, he did! Oooh, I'm gonna get him for running off."  
  
Pyro entered the store with extreme caution. Who knew what kind of monster disguised as a sales clerk, armed with a smelly spray might jump out at him from behind a display, and attack him. The coast seemed clear with a large crowd of people all clumped around something in the middle of the store. " I've just gotta find Gambit and get the heck out of her before someone."  
  
"Hi," a perky sales clerk greeted from out of nowhere. " Welcome to Bath and Body. How can I help you, sir?"  
  
" I'm looking for someone."  
  
"Oh, a present for your girlfriend. Forgot her birthday didn't you? Not to worry; we have a wide variety of soaps, sprays, and lotions. This month's special scent is Peach Nectar."  
  
"I'm not looking for a gift. I'm looking for a person."  
  
"Oh, well, if you need anything just ask," she said, a little upset.  
  
" Don't worry, I won't," said John with a smile. Remy just had to be in the middle of that crowd; because if he wasn't he was lost." Pyro pushed himself into the crowd to find Remy shamelessly flirting with the girls that surrounded him as he asked them which lotion smelled the best.  
  
" All right," Pyro yelled. " All of you can bugger off! I need to talk to Gambit alone!" A large sigh of disappointment was let loose as the crowd began to disperse. A few of them needed a little extra encouragement a-la- Pyro. After they had all gone to pretend to shop around the store Pyro had to deal with Gambit.  
  
Gambit had his sleeves rolled up with a bottle of lotion in each hand. He was alternating between smelling the lotion in the bottles, his hands, and his arms.  
  
"Gambit.what are you doing?"  
  
" It smells like the forest! Smell, smell," Gambit shoved a bottle under Pyro's nose. John snorted and backed away like a dog who had just smelled something he should have left alone.  
  
" What is that," Pyro demanded.  
  
" Juniper Breeze. And this one," he shoved another one under Pyro's nose, " is Cucumber Melon."  
  
" Very, um, nice," said Pyro, gently pushing the bottle away from his nose. " Is that what you have on your hands and arms too?"  
  
" Oh no," Gambit said. " This one is raspberry sorbet," he pointed, " Cococabana, Peach Nectar, and Sweet Pea."  
  
"Woah, sounds like you've got dessert on your arms." Gambit stared at him. " So, now that you've tried the many flavors offered here we can go now, right?"  
  
"Wrong."  
  
"What?"  
  
" You have to help me choose; I can't decide."  
  
" You want me to what?"  
  
" Choose a scent for me, please!"  
  
" No!"  
  
"Yes. Here, just smell these," he handed Pyro the bottles, " and my hands and arms."  
  
"I am NOT smelling anything on your body!"  
  
"Very well." Before Pyro could move Gambit quickly applied multiple lotions on various locations on Pyro's hands and arms. " Remy just thought you would not wish to smell pretty, but since you refused to smell what was on Gambit," the Cajun shrugged. "Well, go ahead," Gambit urged, " smell them and tell Remy which you like best"  
  
Pyro glanced around, making sure no one was watching before sniffing his arms. " What's this one called," he asked, pointing to a spot on his hand.  
  
Gambit leaned over and smelled the spot. " Peach Nectar."  
  
"That one's nice. Get that one. I don't know why you couldn't have asked Colossus,"  
  
"Because he's not her."  
  
John eyed him," What do you mean?"  
  
"He is not in the store." John's head almost did a 360 degree turn until he realized his head didn't go that way and had to move his entire body to look around.  
  
"He's gotta be somewhere; so buy that stuff and let's find him." Gambit made his purchase, only stopping once to look at a whole basket of peach nectar merchandise.  
  
Walking out of the store Pyro looked left and then looked right, coming face to face, or better yet, face to chest, with Colossus, who was happily drinking a smoothie and holding a small shopping bag in one hand. "Thirsty," he asked, offering Pyro the cup.  
  
"What is it," Pyro asked.  
  
"Peach smoothie."  
  
"Ugh, no," said Pyro, remembering the ordeal in Bath and Body. "And what is that," he pointed to the bag Colossus was carrying.  
  
"Oh," Colossus reached in and pulled out a jar of glitter, " Pixie dust and a necklace."  
  
"Please tell me those aren't for you."  
  
"No, they're for my sister Illyana. It's her birthday in a week so I thought I'd pick up a present."  
  
"Oh. Good. Let's go before we find out any other weird habits Gambit might have."  
  
"Okay, but can we make a quick stop at the food court so."  
  
"No," Pyro snapped, "We are going home."  
  
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I'd like to take this time to tell you that I don't own Bath and Body or the flavors of lotion mentioned in this fic. Please don't hurt me! Do R&R though. I love reading your reviews! Until the next chapter.Bye! 


	5. Precious is lost!

Disclaimer: True love is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT, Mutton, lettuce and tomato, when the mutton is nice and lean. They're so perky; I love that. And I'd love it if the true creators of X-men Evolution could just look the other way if they came across my story and didn't see a disclaimer. But, that's just the way things are.  
  
Hope you enjoy this chapter. See you later.  
  
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Unfortunately, in his desire to go home, Pyro had completely forgotten to stop at a print shop to make flyers advertising auditions for a muse. So, he was forced to use his own personal PC. He had just hit print when the printer sign of doom popped up on the screen. "Out of ink," Pyro yelled. " I just put a new one in 2 weeks ago; how can it be out?" He glared at the offending piece of machinery and, after picking it up, proceeded to shake it. " Give me my ink you infernal piece of machinery! You ate my ink; I know it! I just put that think in and ran off almost nothing! Cough up my ink!"  
  
This tirade went on for a while longer before he decided to see if someone had maybe used the computer, other than himself. Checking for any new files he came across a boatload in the scanner program. An infinite amount of scanned images, which appeared to be hands, feet, and a variety of other appendages, including rather distorted faces which looked remarkably like Remy's and Piotr's.  
  
"Gambit," Pyro yelled.  
  
"Oui?"  
  
"Get in here! Colossus!"  
  
"Da?"  
  
"You too; get your butt in here!"  
  
The two soon entered looking incredibly guilty. "Look at this,' Pyro pointed to the screen, still flashing the ink message.  
  
"You need a new ink cartridge," Gambit told him. " You have one don't you?"  
  
"Of course I." Pyro thought for a moment. "Um. I think I have one. Let me check." He looked in his first desk drawer. " Lost," He cried. " Precious is lost!" He frantically rummaged through the desk, a mad gleam in his eyes.  
  
Remy watched this with great interest; anything that could get Pyro's mind off the immediate problem was a good thing. Piotr continued to shuffle his feet, waiting for Pyro to suddenly lash out at them since the number of unopened drawers was rapidly dwindling. Just when Piotr was pretty sure he could maybe sneak away unnoticed Pyro leaped from his spot on the floor and tackled him. He didn't really tackle him; he just kind of latched on to Colossus's shoulders and torso.  
  
"This is all your fault," John yelled. He hopped down to point at Gambit. "And it's all your fault too! You're in so much trouble!"  
  
Colossus crossed his arms and in his best imitation of a Russian spy who has just been caught, told him, " You have no proof."  
  
"No proof," John asked. "What do you call that?" He pointed at the saved images on the screen.  
  
Colossus looked at Gambit and whispered out of the corner of his mouth, "You told me you destroyed all the evidence."  
  
"Gambit did."  
  
"And the nucle.um.ah.the, the nuked pot pie!"  
  
"What pot pie," Gambit asked.  
  
"You know; the one I put in the microwave last week before we decided to order out."  
  
"Gambit has no clue as to what you are talking about."  
  
"Good, good. Now, I thought you destroyed all the evidence," he pointed once again to the screen.  
  
"As Gambit already told you; Gambit did that. Gambit destroyed every one of them. Gambit clicked on delete and when the computer asked if Gambit was sure Gambit said "no". They are works of art and Gambit did not really wish to destroy them but Colossus told him to." A spark of realization alighted in Gambit's brain. "Ooooh, when Gambit clicked 'no' Gambit told the computer not to delete them. So that's why they would not disappear from the screen!"  
  
Colossus slapped his own head with his hand. "I'm surrounded by idiots. Mama told me not to leave Russia." He glared at Gambit. " Die Cajun man," he screamed as he grabbed Gambit by the throat and began to strangle him.  
  
"Colossus, no," John cried, jumping on the Russian's back, putting an arm around his neck and proceeding to choke him. Just as Remy began to lose consciousness the Russian released him to pry Pyro from his back. Tossing John, he gasped for breath and exclaimed, " You were trying to kill me!"  
  
"You were trying to kill Remy first! Do you know what Magneto would do if you killed one of his favorite henchmen?"  
  
Gambit perked up at hearing this. "So you admit it," he exclaimed, " Magneto likes Gambit best!"  
  
" I said 'one of his favorite henchmen' not 'the favorite henchman'. I don't recall speaking of you specifically.  
  
"But, Gambit was the one in danger of death," Gambit pouted.  
  
"You both deserve to die after using up all the ink," Pyro spat. " I don't have any ink cartridges and I refuse to take you two out of the house to get one. But.I can't leave you alone at home."  
  
"You don't have to go anywhere," Gambit told him.  
  
"I don't," Pyro asked. "Why?"  
  
"Because Gambit has ink cartridges."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"In my room."  
  
"In your room," Pyro asked. " Gambit, you used a pronoun! I'm so proud of you," he exclaimed as he quickly grabbed Gambit into a hug and, realizing what he was doing, let go as if he had been bitten. "Lead the way," he prompted.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Gambit used a pronoun to talk about himself. What could possibly be next? Will Pyro find his muse? Eventually, but not in the next chapter. And will we ever find out what Colossus was talking about that led him into a discussion about pot-pies? Not likely. Until next time.see ya! 


	6. Dust Bunny Farm

Disclaimer: True love is the greatest thing in the world. Except for a nice MLT, mutton, lettuce, and tomato when the mutton is nice and lean. They're so perky. I love that! I'd also love it if I owned X-Men Evolution, but I don't.  
  
My muse has returned! Aren't you happy?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ "Man, this is going to be like Monty Python and the Holy Grail," Pyro commented when he saw the state of Gambit's room.  
  
"Can I be 'Sir Not-Appearing-in-this-Film'," Colossus asked.  
  
"No," Remy and John snapped.  
  
"Gambit, just one question; when was the last time you cleaned this pit you call a room," John asked.  
  
"Remy cleaned his room last week. Normally it is not in such a horrible state but Gambit couldn't find his James Bond soundtrack and had to find it so he could fall asleep at night. Unfortunately this forced Gambit to tear apart his room."  
  
"Of course," John told him, glancing at an issue of People Magazine with Jennifer Love Hewitt on the cover, a section of her hair had been covered with white-out. "Um, Gambit, what's this," John asked, picking up the magazine and showing it to the Cajun.  
  
"That? That's People Magazine."  
  
"I can read the title, Gambit. I was wondering about the white-out."  
  
"Oh. Gambit spilled white-out on the magazine when he was using it as a flat surface to write on."  
  
John flipped through the magazine to find that every female within also had white-out dabbed in their hair. " You spilled white-out?"  
  
"Oui."  
  
"Really? May I ask how it got all over the inside and gravitated toward only women's hair?" Remy was speechless. "Ah-ha! I thought so. You like that X-girl. What's her name again, Remy?"  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about," Remy stated, grabbing the magazine out of Pyro's hand and continuing his search for the ink cartridge so he could get his teammates out of his room.  
  
"Her name is Rogue, is it not," Colossus asked. Remy remained silent.  
  
"We'll take that as a yes," John told him, as he too took up the search. "Rogue and Remy sitting in a tree," John sang, " K-I-S-S-I-N-G."  
  
"First comes love," Colossus chimed in, "then comes marriage, then comes Remy with the baby carriage."  
  
"Provided she doesn't accidentally kill you with the first kiss," John said before joining in Colossus's laughter.  
  
"Shut your mouth and look for that ink cartridge," Remy growled. " The sooner we can get you a girl the better."  
  
"Come on, Colossus, help us look," John told the Russian, noticing that he didn't seem to be interested in finding the ink cartridge.  
  
"I refuse to wade in other people's junk," Colossus stated, crossing his arms.  
  
"It's not junk, it's Remy's treasures!"  
  
"Yes, but your germs are all over them."  
  
"Remy's germs are clean germs."  
  
"No, I refuse."  
  
"Fine," John told him, taking a peek under Remy's bed. It was obviously where Gambit kept his dust bunny farm since there seemed to be nothing but dust, more dust, and items coated with dust."  
  
"Look what Gambit found," Remy exclaimed holding out his hand to reveal a ball of white goo.  
  
"What is that," Colossus asked.  
  
"Sticky Tack," Gambit exclaimed. " Here, let Gambit show you." The Cajun quickly grabbed the nearest object, stuck it to the goo and in turn stuck it to Colossus's armor. "See, it is the very best thing to use when you want to stick something for all to see."  
  
"Gambit, get back to work," John ordered from behind the television.  
  
Colossus stared at the box Gambit had stuck to his chest with the Sticky Tack. "John," he started.  
  
"Colossus, I'm kind of looking behind the television right now."  
  
"But, John."  
  
"That means I can't come to look at some artifact of Remy's that you now find so interesting," John quipped.  
  
"But."  
  
"What did I just tell you," John asked poking his head out from behind the television. "It's a miracle," John exclaimed as his eyes lit up, " you found the ink cartridge!"  
  
"What did he do," Gambit asked, looking over his shoulder.  
  
"He found the ink cartridge," John told him, coming out from behind the TV.  
  
Gambit turned around to see for himself. Sure enough, Colossus had found the ink cartridge stuck to his chest with the Sticky Tack. "But, Gambit found that," the Cajun exclaimed.  
  
"No you didn't," John told him. " Colossus was the one to find it."  
  
"Only because I stuck it to his chest," Gambit exclaimed.  
  
"How he found it doesn't really matter," John told him. " The point is that now I can print the flyers and get myself a muse."  
  
" Of course, because this is all about you," Gambit spat.  
  
"You bet your bo-staff it is. Now let's get going." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Well, that's the end of the chapter; hope you liked it. I'll try to get the next chapter out soon. Don't forget to review since they bring joy and light into my day. =) Until next time.Bye! 


	7. Cheating on your crush!

Disclaimer: I'm sorry, but I've gotta get a contract so I can go out and kill 'em. And I'd have to have a contract in order to say I own X-men evolution. Dang! I don't think Marvel is looking for any help.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Pyro sat down at his desk wondering what he should do with the free time he had bought himself by sending Gambit and Colossus out to put up the flyers. His blank screen glared accusingly at him. He hadn't written anything in such a long time. John turned the prospect of writing without a muse over in his head for a bit. After all, any time without distractions was a good time to write. And he certainly did feel a smidgen of inspiration ready to guide him on his writing expedition into the unknown. He grabbed a pen and piece of paper and began to write. The words flowed from his pen onto the paper. Maybe he didn't need a muse after all.  
  
Meanwhile, Gambit and Colossus took a look at their handy work. Flyers lined the street, one on every street-light and sign post. Gambit sighed, " We did a good job. Every potential muse in the city will see these and be ready to inspire John. Our work here is done."  
  
"But, what will we do with all the extra flyers," Colossus asked. "It seems like such a waste of paper not to hand them out."  
  
Gambit looked at his own stack of un-posted flyers. Colossus had a point. If they came home with extras Pyro would no doubt accuse them of not doing their job correctly. "Hm, you have a point. But no problem, Gambit has a solution."  
  
"Which would be," Colossus prompted.  
  
"Do you have a pen," Gambit asked.  
  
Colossus screwed up his face as he checked. "Da," he said, producing the pen. "But I don't see," Gambit snatched the pen out of Colossus's hand.  
  
"You'll see," he told him, taking a flyer and flipping it to the blank side. The Cajun placed it on the ground, crouched over it and began to write in big, bold letters. When he was finished he took the sticky tack from his pocket and used it to adhere the paper to his shirt.  
  
"Free kisses," Colossus read. " Isn't that cheating on your crush?"  
  
"It's not cheating on Gambit's crush because Gambit's love is unrequited."  
  
"Oh, and how is this going to help us get rid of the flyers?"  
  
"When a girl gives Gambit a kiss he will give her a flyer to lead her to Pyro's auditions."  
  
"And why are you the one to receive the kisses?"  
  
"Because Remy is cuter than you and will attract more girls."  
  
"Ha, there is no way you are more attractive than me you puny string bean man."  
  
"We'll see about that."  
  
3 hours later.  
  
The score was Gambit three, Colossus zero. Of course, they hadn't given away any of the flyers because the three included two old ladies and their poodle. The old ladies had thought that Remy was just adorable and had planted motherly kisses on his forehead and pinched his cheeks. Colossus had laughed when the poodle had gotten up on its hind legs to give Remy a wet, sloppy kiss on his face.  
  
"Go ahead and laugh," Remy told him, " But Gambit still has received more kisses than you."  
  
"And given away no flyers," Colossus shot back.  
  
"Um, excuse me," a voice asked. Gambit looked over to see a blond haired, blue-eyed beauty.  
  
"Oui, how may Gambit help you?"  
  
"About the kisses."  
  
"Oui?"  
  
"Could I get a kiss from your friend there," she gave a sideways glance at Piotr.  
  
"I suppose," Gambit grumbled. He couldn't even look as the girl walked over and gave Colossus a kiss on the lips. Colossus in turn handed her a small stack of flyers. Just as the girl walked off a southern drawl asked, " Didn't ya'll know this is a no suck face zone?"  
  
"Chere," Gambit smiled. " Would you be interested in a kiss from Gambit?"  
  
"Only if you're interested in a coma. What are you doing anyways?"  
  
"We are helping Pyro find a muse. He has writer's block. You should audition to be his muse since anyone who sees you is no doubt suddenly struck with inspiration."  
  
"Is that so?"  
  
"Oui."  
  
" What's he writing anyways?"  
  
"He's.um.well, Gambit is not exactly sure what he's trying to write but most likely he's writing the Great American Novel."  
  
"I see. I'm still a little confused as to how you're kissing girls is helping him."  
  
"Well, you see, Chere, the kissing booth is really a cleverly disguised advertiser. See, when a young lady comes to get a kiss from Gambit we give her a flyer to lead her to the muse auditions. Here take one," he told her. " Gambit won't even require a kiss."  
  
" Thanks," she replied, quickly putting it in her pocket. "I've got to get going."  
  
" You will come won't you," Gambit pleaded. Rogue nodded with a little smile before hurrying off.  
  
"She's not coming," Colossus told him.  
  
"What? Of course she is."  
  
" Did you see the look on her face? She's not coming. You scared her away."  
  
" Like you could do better."  
  
" Actually I did. Not only did I give Shannon multiple flyers to give to her friends but I also received her phone number," Colossus grinned.  
  
"Who is Shannon?"  
  
" The beautiful blond who turned you down and gave me a kiss."  
  
" Oh.Let's just leave the flyers her. Gambit is tired of waiting around."  
  
"Ha, you are just upset because Rogue would not give you a kiss."  
  
" Lalalalala.Gambit can't hear you," Gambit sang.  
  
"Fine," Colossus huffed, " Let's see what Pyro has done in our absence.  
  
"What a wonderful idea. Gambit is glad he thought of it," The Cajun beamed. "Race you home."  
  
" But. that was my idea," Colossus whined as he ran off in an attempt to beat Remy to the house.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
That's the end of the chapter. Don't forget to R&R. Until next time.have a great day! 


	8. I made it myself

Disclaimer: "Holy rusted metal, Batman!" OMG! I don't own any of the characters!  
  
Hey everyone! Sorry it took so long but I'm back in school and I've been having muse problems and I've been indulging my muse by writing pieces of other stories so. it took a long time. Demonskittlez: I would like to tell you that your review of the last chapter made it all the funnier to me. That's so weird!  
  
On with the show.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
"I win," Colossus exclaimed.  
  
"Remy think you cheated," the Cajun remarked.  
  
"Cheated? You had a head start!"  
  
" Yes, but then you tripped Gambit."  
  
"You tripped on the curb; how can that be my fault?"  
  
"Remy knows you cheated and when Remy finds evidence you will be sorry," he glared.  
  
"You're impossible," Colossus exclaimed, throwing his arms into the air in exasperation.  
  
"Keep it down," Pyro exclaimed.  
  
" Why? You're not doing anything important."  
  
Pyro stormed down the stairs, "I'll have you know I've been very busy writing my book."  
  
"But.the muse," Gambit whined.  
  
" I don't need a muse," Pyro beamed.  
  
"That's wonderful," Colossus congratulated. " Isn't that wonderful, Gambit?" He turned to the dumbstruck Cajun who was standing with his mouth hanging open.  
  
" What do you mean you don't need a muse," Gambit exclaimed.  
  
"See," John told him placing a manuscript in the Cajun's hands, " I wrote it myself."  
  
"You mean to tell me that all this time we wasted running around, handing out flyers and getting kissed by old ladies you've been writing?" He pushed the story over to Colossus, " I'm going to."  
  
"Oh look, pictures," Colossus exclaimed.  
  
"What do you mean pictures? You mean he illustrated it too?"  
  
"Read it," John pursued.  
  
"Give Gambit that," Gambit snapped, snatching the book out of Piotr's grasp. He cleared his throat before reading aloud, " See Spot run. Run, Spot, run. See Dick run. Run, Dick, run. Dick sees Jane. Run, Jane. What a piece of crap! This is the worst great American novel Gambit has ever seen. Not only is it a picture book but it has also been written before for small school children."  
  
" But, Gambit, I."  
  
" You are not allowed to go near a writing implement until we get you a muse."  
  
"But, Gambit."  
  
"No buts, now go to your room.er.Gambit means the den! There's no writing implements in there, only a brain-washing media center we call a television set. And don't come out until Gambit says so."  
  
" Are we playing Gambit says," Colossus asked.  
  
"Yes, we are," the Cajun told him. " Now Gambit says, " Make Gambit a sandwich because Gambit is famished."  
  
~*~  
  
Pyro sighed, looking around the empty den. Sabertooth had managed to destroy all the really good stuff, leaving the Aussie with bare walls, a couple of folding chairs and a television. Pyro looked around the room for any hidden treasures until he struck gold. a small piece of crayon had been left on the floor from Pietro's science project. The little brat had refused to pick up after himself, insisting that his "daddy" didn't care. So, the responsibility had fallen to Sabertooth, who's idea of cleaning was picking up random objects and throwing them in a garbage bag until someone chose to sort through it. He was sloppy, and in his haste had left Pyro with a way to amuse himself. If he couldn't write a story he would draw it.all over the walls.  
  
~*~  
  
Colossus glanced sideways at Gambit. "Do you have any two's," he asked.  
  
"Go fish."  
  
" Hey, Gambit?"  
  
"Oui?"  
  
"What do you think John is doing downstairs?"  
  
"Hopefully he's preparing himself for seeing many gorgeous muses tomorrow. Do you have any nines?"  
  
He handed the Cajun a card, "Da. When are we going to let him come back up here so we can eat dinner together?"  
  
"When he admits what he wrote is crap. Sevens?"  
  
"Go fish. Can I go see if he's ready?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I would like to order a pizza and I'm hungry."  
  
" Gambit supposes."  
  
" Thank you." Colossus got up from his seat."  
  
" Wait," Gambit exclaimed. " You can't go yet. We need to finish the game first."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
That's the end of the chapter, and if you can't tell.we are quickly coming to the end of the story. Not too many chapters left. (I'm guestimating.) Anyways, please leave a review because I love them so. :) See ya next chapter. 


	9. not liking to be playing games

Disclaimer: Let's play swallow all the stuff under the sink!  
  
If you think this chapter's a little short I apologize. I just thought that this was a good place to end . I'm going to try really hard to finish this story up soon. But, if school should interfere it might take some time. Anyways, enjoy!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Piotr looked down the dark stairs leading to the basement. "Joh-on," he called. He waited for a response but got none. "Joh-on," he called again, taking one step and then another. "It is getting very spooky down here and I am not liking to be playing games," he called as he reached the bottom. A hand suddenly grabbed him from behind.  
  
"The Wizard of Oz," John exclaimed. " It's the Wizard of Oz!" He broke into maniacal laughter.  
  
"What are you talking about," Piotr asked as he was dragged into the light of the den. What awaited him was a miracle. All over the walls was, in fact, the Wizard of Oz drawn out but with new dialogue written a-la-speech- bubble. "John, what did you do?"  
  
"I rewrote it! Isn't it wonderful," he asked, breaking once more into laughter.  
  
"You didn't watch the television.did you," Piotr asked accusingly. John shook his head while holding in his amusement.  
  
"Oookay," Piotr announced. "I think you've spent a little too much time by yourself for today. Let's go upstairs and get you something to eat."  
  
"I'm not hungry."  
  
"Well, then you can watch us."  
  
"Don't wanna," John whined.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because the voices in my head are now commanding me to re-write Gone With The Wind."  
  
"I need to get you out of here." Colossus quickly threw the small Aussie over his shoulder and hurried up the stairs. Gambit would know what to do with him.  
~*~  
  
But, Gambit didn't know what to do with him. In the end all he had come up with was tying John to a chair and hoping that he would fall asleep soon and be better in the morning for the auditions.  
~*~  
  
"I don't want to do this anymore," Pyro announced as he stared at his breakfast.  
  
"It's too late to change your mind now," Gambit told him. "So eat your pancakes."  
  
John stared at the pile of burnt lumps in front of him that in no way resembled cakes. Rocks maybe, but not cakes. A long blond hair stuck out of the corner of one of the lumps. "Sabertooth cooked these didn't he," John remarked.  
  
"Non, Gambit made the pancakes, Sabertooth stirred the batter."  
  
"I had no idea you were so good at making charcoal," John told him.  
  
"It's not Gambit's fault," the Cajun protested. "Someone had to wake you up, take in the mail, and save Sabertooth from choking on a hair ball. That someone was Gambit. So Gambit is sorry if you aren't pleased with the food on your plate but Gambit will have you know that there are starving children in Louisiana."  
  
"There are," Colossus gasped.  
  
"Oui."  
  
"Maybe we should send them the food you made," Colossus suggested.  
  
"There is no time! You and Gambit must make John presentable for all of the potential muses because lord knows he will not be able to manage by himself." Which was the truth as John, a basket case, nervously drank coffee from his shaking, volcano-shaped mug.  
  
"I see your point. But how will we get him ready and to the park for the auditions in such a condition?"  
  
"Don't worry, Gambit has a plan."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
Well, that's all folks! .for now. 


	10. hundreds of percent better

Disclaimer: " I shall call him Squishy and he shall be mine. And he shall be my Squishy.  
  
Hey everyone! Yes I'm back and this story will get finished. I realized that I've been writing this story since March of 2003, that's almost a year. OMG, I've gotta get this story done because that's way too long to be writing one simple fanfic. Why are you still reading my ramblings? On with the story!  
  
~*~  
  
" This is your big plan," Colossus asked as he watched Gambit gel Pyro's hair as the Aussie happily spooned ice cream into his mouth. "Your plan is to feed Pyro ice cream until he pukes?"  
  
"No," Gambit rebuttled, " My plan is to get enough sugar into him so he forgets his problems. My plan is to put enough food in him so he is complacent and happy as a cow chewing its cud."  
  
"You do realize how horrible a plan that is don't you?"  
  
"Why is it bad?"  
  
"With John's insanity you can't expect him to react normally to the effects of sugar. He may go ballistic on us."  
  
"Nonsense," Gambit told him, giving Pyro's hair one last tweak before going to pick out something for the Aussie to wear.  
  
Colossus glanced into John's bowl. "What is that?"  
  
"Thungie Mongie," John replied, mouth full of the substance.  
  
"What?"  
  
John swallowed. "Chunky Monkey," he grinned, scooping more of the substance out of the bowl and into his mouth.  
  
"And what exactly is 'Chunky Monkey'?"  
  
Pyro pointed to the sink, which held the empty ice cream carton. Colossus stomped over to the sink, picked the 'Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream' container up between two fingers and slowly rotated it before finding the description of the flavor. "Banana flavored ice cream, chocolate chunks and walnuts; how can you eat this?"  
  
"It's good," Pyro simply stated before putting another spoonful into his mouth. "Ice cream always makes everything hundreds of percent better."  
  
"You lying Cajun," Colossus screamed. "Your real plan is to use the ice cream as a form of mind control. First you take all reason from John. Will you next put me under such a spell by luring me with Cherry Garcia, or Mint Chocolate Chip? Or will you sink so low as to commit the sacrilege of using Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough to bring me to my knees, turning me into your personal."  
  
"What are you blabbering about? Gambit's only plan was to get John into a good mood. See how happy he is?"  
  
"Can you even begin to see the future crash that will occur when the sugar high ebbs?"  
  
"Gambit was hoping that would happen after he picks a muse." Turning to the Aussie he held up two shirts. " The blue or the black mon ami?"  
  
" Do I have a red one?"  
  
" Non, it will clash with your hair. Blue or black?"  
  
"Black, it's a very professional color, don't you think?"  
  
"Very," Colossus quickly agreed.  
  
"Bon, mon ami. Now, go wash up and I'll have your clothes lying out on your bed."  
  
"With-my-lighter," John spurted, a crazy gleam in his eyes.  
  
"Uh, Gambit will see what he can do."  
  
" I have to have my lighter. Without it I am powerless. If I ever lost it I don't know what I would do.probably find a new one with an even cooler design but for those couple of hours I would just be inconsolable."  
  
" Gambit shall find it for you."  
  
"Good," John beemed.  
  
"Colossus, if you could just make sure his teeth get brushed," the Cajun pleaded before disappearing out of the kitchen.  
  
Of course, no problem," the Russian replied. " You heard the thief, Johnny, lets go brush your teeth."  
  
~*~  
  
Did you like it? I hope so. You can show me what you really think by sending a review. Reviews are to the ego as caffeine is to the brain. See ya! 


	11. Like what they did in the old country

Disclaimer: " Obsessed with raisins; humiliated grapes really, think about it."  
  
Hey all, I posted another chapter and it didn't take me forever either, yay! Hope you enjoy this chapter. Talk to ya later.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
"That's not my toothbrush," John wailed.  
  
"Sure it is," the Russian consoled, holding the toothbrush up to the Aussie's face. "You have the red toothbrush."  
  
"No, the red one is Remy's. Mine is the red one with the black flames outlined in gold."  
  
"But, this is your toothbrush. Remy changed his yesterday. The only reason you do not see the flames is because my hand is hiding them, see?" Colossus moved a couple of his fingers to demonstrate how his hand hid the design. " Now will you brush them?"  
  
"My toothpaste is always Tooty Fruity."  
  
"We are all out of Tooty Fruity, but we do have Aquafresh. See, it is special too, see the red, green and white stripes?"  
  
"It still tastes like mint. That's yicky."  
  
"How about you brush your teeth with the Aquafresh and then I give you a Jolly Rancher to take the minty taste away. The Jolly Rancher has grape, and green apple, and fruit punch."  
  
"That defeats the purpose of brushing my teeth not to mention it will taste twice as yicky afterwards because mint and natural fruit flavors don't mix."  
  
"Fine, either you brush your teeth with the toothbrush and toothpaste or you can do what they did in the old country long before I was born and use a handkerchief to wipe your teeth off. I just so happen to have one in my pocket." He pulled the colorful square out of his pocket and waved it in front of John's face which was screwed into a look of uncertainty until he opened his mouth.  
  
"Give me the toothbrush," he told the Russian. Colossus smiled smugly as he watched Pyro 'foam at the mouth' brushing his teeth. He must have been going for a world record because he soon spit a mouthful of suds into the sink and proclaimed, "I'm done", before dropping his toothbrush into the waste paper basket and rinsing his hands and face.  
  
"What did you do that for? There was nothing wrong with the toothbrush."  
  
" Oh yes there was, it was contaminated."  
  
"Contaminated with what, the spit from your mouth?"  
  
"It was contaminated by the Aquafresh."  
  
"You have to be kidding me. You could not have simply rinsed it off and put it back in the holder?"  
  
"No, because I would still know that it had been touched by mint-flavored paste and therefore I could never brush my teeth with the Tooty Fruity without knowing I had betrayed it's trust with that very brush. Best to get rid of the evidence."  
  
"Ah ha, well, we are wasting time. Gambit has probably long since set your clothes out on the bed. Why don't you go get dressed?"  
  
"Okyday."  
  
~*~  
  
Colossus had to admit that John looked quite spiffy in his black dress shirt and khakis, the picture of a soon to be successful writer.  
  
"Where's my pen," John asked, feeling his pockets.  
  
"Here is a pen, mon ami."  
  
"But, that's not my pen."  
  
"John, it's a pen like any other pen. Does it make a difference?"  
  
John thought for a second before taking out his lighter and melting the back end of the pen. "There, now it doesn't."  
  
"Good, now let's go, the muses are waiting." ************************************************************************ I know, it's a short chapter and probably should have been mushed into the last chapter to make both of them longer but I couldn't wait to post the last one and didn't realize that I would be done with this one so soon. Anyways, just to let you know, I don't own Aquafresh even though you might have thought I did, I don't. With any luck I'll have another chapter up soon. See ya. 


	12. The correct term is moosen

Disclaimer: "My face! My beautiful face! I'm an ugly, stinky llama! Llamaface!"  
  
Yeah, I don't own x-men evo or the above quote or the other quote from "The Emperor's New Groove" that appears inside my story. It was such a good quote I just couldn't pass it up. See if you can tell which of John's lines it is. Hope you like it muchly. See ya!  
  
************************************************************************  
  
"Whoa, look at the turnout," John gaped at the crowd as Colossus set up the card table and lawn chairs. Pyro cleared his throat. "Let me just say that I'm glad to see you all here. Now, if you'll be so kind I'd like you to sign in with my lovely assistant Remy, the guy holding the clip board, and then when I call your name please step onto the stage and um.try to explain why you're qualified to be my muse."  
  
"Um, Excuse me," a voice from the crowd spoke up.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"There's no stage."  
  
Pyro looked at her. "What's your name?"  
  
"Lisa."  
  
"Lisa, that's a pretty name. Now, Lisa, are you questioning my authority?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"You felt it necessary to point out that there was no stage. Are you trying to make me look stupid?"  
  
"No, its just that I."  
  
"I've heard enough. Obviously you weren't gifted with an imagination, which most definitely is a must for a muse. I'm afraid you're dismissed."  
  
"Dismissed?"  
  
"How else can I put this? You're being let go, your department is being downsized, you're part of an out-placement, we're going in a different direction, we're not picking up your option... you're fired!"  
  
"But, I don't work for you."  
  
"Get out!"  
  
"Psycho," she spat before turning around and leaving.  
  
"Now, does anyone else not see a stage?" There was a chorus of no's accompanied by shaking heads. "Now," he held out a hand into which Remy placed the list. "Julia Monrado," he said, taking a seat behind the card table.  
  
An elderly woman walked out onto the grass. John looked at Colossus, "You have got to be kidding me". The Russian just shrugged. "And you're qualified because."  
  
"Because I've had more experience at being a muse then the rest of these young whipper-snappers."  
  
"Do you have any contacts I can call to confirm this?"  
  
"What does that matter? You never said we had to have contacts. And you can't discriminate against me just because you can't picture a senior citizen in a romance novel".  
  
"Who said I was writing a romance novel?"  
  
"Well, I just assumed that was the type of book you were writing. Why else would you need a muse?"  
  
"I think I've heard enough. We'll get back to you.Charlotte Maisy?" A small girl stepped forward. "Little girl, the playground is that way. Go pick some daisies or something."  
  
"I'm here to be a moose."  
  
"A what?"  
  
"A moose, that's what the signs said, ' mooses wanted'".  
  
John stood up. "Excuse me, but the pleural form of moose is moosen, everyone knows that."  
  
" Don't tell me that, I didn't make the signs. Are you putting on a play about a zoo?"  
  
"No, you didn't read it right. It said muses, not mooses, which should be moosen anyways."  
  
"Remy is sorry, but the pleural form of moose is moose."  
  
"Remy, you can't even manage to use pronouns. Am I to believe that you know how to make words pleural?"  
  
"Oui."  
  
"Shut up, I'm trying to make a point here. The point is, little girl, that you are too young to be a muse."  
  
"There's an age limit? That's dog poo! You just don't want to admit that I could be the best moose.muse ever!"  
  
"Yes, that's exactly it."  
  
"You're a big mean potty face!" she stuck out her tongue for good measure"  
  
"Why you little."John stood up once more only to find himself being pushed back down by large metal mitts.  
  
"Calm down," Colossus told him. "There are other people coming up whom you can take your anger out on. Let us not make a scene."  
  
"I suppose you're right. Next!"  
  
********************************************************************* That's it, the end of the chapter. I should have the next chapter out soon, but don't quote me on that. Until next chapter. ~Shield-Maiden 


	13. Squirrels?

Disclaimer: "Just because you have feathers up your butt doesn't mean you're a chicken."  
  
Yay! I managed to update twice in the small time frame of a few days. I'm so proud of myself. Well, enough of that. On with the story!  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Pyro sighed as he crossed off yet another name on the list and proceeded to bang his head against the card table. "Don't do that," Colossus told him. "You are killing brain cells and we still have a good ten names left to go. You need to keep your wits about you."  
  
Pyro raised his head, and with a look of desperation announced, "Ashley Gromette".  
  
"This is the one," Remy told him excitedly. "There is no way any of the others could compare!"  
  
John quickly snapped his head up from where he had been staring at the clipboard and came to face a beer-bellied aging man with stubble on his face. Pyro slowly turned his head to look at Gambit. "Is the girl standing behind him?"  
  
"Non, this is the one."  
  
Pyro looked at the man again, noticing the white strip of hair gracing his otherwise brown mop. "Are you crazy," Pyro yelled. "A white stripe of hair does not make a person specials, simply aged! Not to mention this "muse" is a man!" He turned towards the man. "Where do you get a name like 'Ashley' from anyways? You look more like a Billy Bob, or a Hank."  
  
"I'll have you know that the name 'Ashley' has been passed down for generations in my family since my great, great, great, great grand-daddy, Ashley I. If you have a problem with that we can take this somewhere else."  
  
"No no," Pyro chattered. "No problem at all. I'm sure it has a very noble history. The only problem is that these auditions were for females."  
  
"Well, it never specified on the flyer and I needed a job."  
  
"I'm so sorry you had to waste your time here this afternoon, sir. But, if you just talk with my assistant Remy he'll make sure you get a fruit basket."  
  
"Alrighty." He started walking off and quickly turned around. "You sure you won't need me?"  
  
"Quite sure, thank you. Remy, if we ever do this again I'm letting Colossus screen the prospective muses. I can't deal with this anymore! I haven't had ice cream in five hours. Five hours, Remy!"  
  
"Don't worry, mon ami. It will all be over soon and you will be on the bestseller's list."  
  
"You really think so?"  
  
"Well, it is not impossible but it is highly improbable. Especially since you just turned down the most qualified muse Gambit has ever..."  
  
"I'm not changing my decision because of your obsession with some Sheila who has problems with premature aging!"  
  
"Gambit understands...but if you would only just..."  
  
"NO! Now go get that man a fruit basket and an ice cream cone for me while you're at it. I'm experiencing symptoms associated with the decline of a sugar high and only ice cream can make it better."  
  
"Yes, of course."  
  
"Lindsey Hannigan?"  
  
"Present," a peppy voice exclaimed. A big grin on her face, the girl leapt onto the grass stage and looked expectantly at him.  
  
"Ah, and what makes you think you're qualified?"  
  
" I get straight A's in English, very important when writing, teehee, um, I sing, dance and act. Triple threat they call me. And I'm great at raising morale."  
  
"And how would you know that?"  
  
"I'm the captain of the cheer squad, silly. That's what I do, make people happy."  
  
Pyro's eyes went wide as he quickly made the sign against evil. "Next," he cried. "Next!"  
  
"What did I say," she questioned.  
  
Pyro plugged his fingers into his ears. "Lalalala, can't hear you. Colossus if you can hear me remove this...thing at once, before I'm contaminated."  
  
"See, young lady," Colossus consoled, "he is a little eccentric and sometimes little things upset him, like squirrels."  
  
"Squirrels?"  
  
"Yes, squirrels; they chirp and make a general nuisance of themselves. This triggers something in his mind and nothing can stop his ravings until it is removed from sight."  
  
"You mean I remind him of a squirrel?" Her eyes welled up, signaling the possible beginning of a waterworks display.  
  
"No, of course you don't remind him of squirrels."  
  
"Then what? What did I do to upset him? He hates cheerleaders doesn't he?"  
  
"No, of course not. It is just that he once dated a cheerleader. She broke his heart and he never fully recovered."  
  
"Oh, I'm so sorry. Please send him my regrets."  
  
"Of course, good bye now. Safe journey!" "If only all nuisances were so easily gotten rid of," he mumbled under his breath. ************************************************************************  
  
The end is near! No, really, I can only see a couple more chapters in this story before I reach the end. It's sad, but a happy sad, if that makes any sense. Please review, I live off of the feedback. 


	14. Drowning one's sorrows in Oxygen?

Disclaimer: Raid kills bugs DEAD. In case you thought there was some kind of LIVE killing. (Don't own X-men Evo, Raid, or the couple of lines I borrowed from Master of Disguise)  
  
Second to last chapter everyone. This would have been the last chapter except it was longer than I thought it was and then I felt that it would be better to make two separate chapters instead of one gigantic one. Plus...I still have yet to write the very end of the ending and I didn't want to make you wait forever for an update. Well, go ahead, read it.  
  
**********************************************************************  
  
Pyro stared into his glaringly empty ice cream bowl. "I guess this is it. Three pages of names and maybe four of those names could even be considered a muse," John sighed. "Let's go for a walk so I can drown my sorrows in oxygen."  
  
"Uh, correct Remy if he is wrong but, doesn't one usually drown their sorrows in some form of an alcoholic beverage?"  
  
"I would do that, Remy, except that I'm under the legal drinking age and therefore must use fresh air and scenic overviews to cheer myself up."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"What I wouldn't give for a muse of fire! Someone with spirit, yet warm and caring."  
  
"It sounds like what you really want is a girlfriend."  
  
"No, Colossus, I want a muse."  
  
"Then why do you not just create one," Colossus suggested. "Then you could have a real muse of fire, and... "she" would be perfect."  
  
"Yes, but fire can't talk."  
  
"Funny, you always say how the fire speaks to you."  
  
"Well, it does talk to me in the sense that it calls out to be turned into something more than itself, but it can't help me with a sub-plot."  
  
"Oh," Colossus frowned. "Hey, look! It is the x-mansion. Perhaps there is a particular shrubbery you would be liking to burn down?"  
  
"Well, there is that one right over...wait a tick."  
  
"What?," Gambit asked. "Did you suddenly discover you have a nervous tick? Gambit had one, right there," he pointed to his right eye. "It drove Gambit completely insane...and then it went away. Gambit is not sure why."  
  
"Will you shut up? You're going to scare her away."  
  
"Scare who away? A rabbit?"  
  
"No! My muse, my goddess, the only one who can possibly bring me out of this deep hole of depression."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"There."  
  
"Rogue? See, Gambit knew all along that he had excellent choice in..."  
  
"No, not your obsession, the one beside her."  
  
"You mean the one currently engulfed in flame," Colossus asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Ah, please forgive Gambit if he is wrong but, how is she supposed to be your muse when she's being consumed by flame? What Gambit means is it seems quite impossible for someone who is dead to guide you on your path to bestseller-dom."  
  
"You moron! It must be her power. Now, you see I was not crazy to desire a muse of fire as I have now found one!"  
  
"Oui, but you still have to convince her to help you."  
  
"That's very true. But don't worry, I know what I'm doing."  
  
"That's what they all say before they crash and burn."  
  
"It's not the burning part that worries me. The crashing part is what sends fear into my heart."  
  
"Well, go ahead. Show Gambit how suave and debonair you are, unless you're chicken."  
  
"I'm not a chicken. I'm the chef and I say the chicken's extra crispy." John strutted towards the two x-women. "Um, excuse me," he asked, visibly deflated.  
  
Rogue turned her head towards him. "What do you want? Did the swamp rat put you up to this?"  
  
"Yes, no, I mean um...,yes/no."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I was wondering who your flaming friend is."  
  
"Oh, Amara, this firebug wants to talk to you."  
  
Her attention caught, Amara proceeded to "flame-off" a la Fantastic Four and come over. "Yeah? What is it? And who is this?"  
  
"I am Pyro the Great, although my friends call me John. I couldn't help noticing that you would be the perfect muse for me. I am a writer you see."  
  
"You want me to be your what?"  
  
"My muse of fire. I would be honored if you would do it; help me out of my writing rut."  
  
"What would I have to do?"  
  
"First, I have a question for you. Do you fold easily under pressure?"  
  
"What kind of pressure are you talking about?"  
  
"The kind of pressure that makes you cry out in the night like a little baby."  
  
"Like a baby in its crib," Gambit added.  
  
Amara thought for a moment. "Well, what does it pay?"  
  
"What about being paid in honor, dignity, pride," John asked. Gambit nodded in agreement.  
  
"Actually I'm gonna need cash if I take this job. Honor, dignity and pride don't pay the shopping bills ya know."  
  
"I don't have any money to pay you...right now that is. But, I do have a complete deck of Pokemon cards and a Tomagotchi that might be worth something. I mean, as soon as I sell my book, with your help, you will receive a share of the profits."  
  
"Are you for real?"  
  
"Yes, I've been auditioning muses all day and as soon as I saw you burst into flames I knew that you were to be my muse. I don't think I can manage without you."  
  
Amara gave a sideways glance at her companion. "What do you think, Rogue? Think I can trust him?"  
  
"I myself wouldn't trust him any farther than I could throw him. However, it's not really my decision, it's yours. But I'd keep in mind that insanity tends to be contagious." Amara took a good long look at Pyro who was giving her the puppy face.  
  
"So, if I agree, what do I do; proofread your work?"  
  
"No, you will be the driving force behind my work. You shall be there only to inspire me and bounce ideas off of."  
  
"Will it cut into my homework or other after school activities?" Pyro shook his head.  
  
"Where would we meet?"  
  
"My writing studio."  
  
"Can I bring someone with me?"  
  
"If it makes you happy, but she is not getting the honor of becoming another muse," he pointed at Rogue. "After all, a good writer only needs one. Pleeeease?"  
  
Amara threw her arms into the air. "Oh, all right," she exclaimed, "I hate seeing boys beg."  
  
"Thank you, thank you, thank you. I'll see you tomorrow then, ten o'clock on the dot." He handed her a piece of paper. "My address. Oh, you have no idea how my writing will soar onto the pages once we begin." Amara only gave a slight nod, not really understanding what she was getting herself into.  
  
********************************************************************** So, you now know who Pyro's muse is. Kudos to all of you reviewers who saw it coming or at least voiced the opinion that that's who it should be. I had her in mind from the beginning, hence the title. Well, that and I just thought it sounded cool. I'll stop jabbering for now...at least until the next chapter anyways. 


	15. Bathroom?

Disclaimer: I have a strange attraction to feet. I do not know why.  
  
Yes, this is the final chapter. This is it. Game over, man! Game over!...Enough of that, go ahead and read the thrilling conclusion. ********************************************************************  
  
"You can't write that," Amara argued.  
  
"And why not? I'm an author. I can do whatever I want. It's my story after all. Must I remind you?"  
  
"Excuse me? YOUR story? I'm your muse so technically since there wouldn't be a story without me its my story."  
  
Pyro looked at her, laughed, and in his most condescending voice said, "The new muse Amara, so cute in your inexperience. You have been cooped up in here all day and when that happens you don't think clearly. And when that happens you forget that I AM THE WRITER! It's my name that will appear on the cover, not yours. Why can't you just accept that my ideas are good ones?"  
  
"Because a story about a ninja mouse isn't going to sell. I don't care how cute he is."  
  
"What if he rode a motorcycle?"  
  
"That's been written already. You can't steal someone else's characters."  
  
"But, what if I call him Fred and he still takes Karate?"  
  
"No. Now that I think of it, I don't know why I agreed to do this in the first place. You're impossible to work with."  
  
"Me? If you didn't shoot down every one of my ideas like a hunter on holiday perhaps we would be writing instead of arguing. I could have a novel written by now if it weren't for you."  
  
"You think you'd do better without me?"  
  
"Right now? Yes, yes I would."  
  
A smile spread across the girl's face. "Fine, I quit."  
  
"You what?"  
  
"I quit."  
  
"You can't quit. How can I write anything without you?"  
  
"You just said you'd be better off without me so I thought I'd just end your problems and leave."  
  
"But, but, who's going to be my muse while your gone?"  
  
"While I'm gone? I'm never coming back...ever. Until you can find some psychotic replacement you'll just have to make do with some lackey. I'm out of here." With a flick of the hair and the slam of the door she was gone.  
  
Pyro collapsed onto the floor. "Gone," he wailed. "Gone! My own madness drove her to this. How shall I ever go on?" He stopped, thought for a second, and then, "Remy, Piotr, come in here!"  
  
"Oui," Remy called, running into the room. "What is it Remy can do...for you?" He looked about the room.  
  
"Where is the girl," Piotr asked. "I did not tell you to hide her somewhere."  
  
"Gambit did not hide her," the Cajun argued. "But...perhaps she is playing a game?"  
  
Pyro cleared his throat. "Do you have a cold," Gambit asked. "There are cough drops in the..."  
  
"No, I don't have a cold and no, she isn't playing hide and seek."  
  
"Bathroom," Colossus suggested.  
  
"She QUIT," Pyro yelled. "She got mad at me and left."  
  
"Gambit could always call up Rogue for you. Maybe she would..."  
  
"No, I have a much better idea."  
  
"What," Colossus asked. "Calling up Shannon? She was very nice and I even think she was one of the girls on your list."  
  
"No," Pyro shook his head.  
  
"Uh, what is your solution? Gambit is just curious because you seem to have quite the evil grin on your face."  
  
"Why don't you come into the other room and I'll show you," Pyro suggested.  
  
"Alright, Gambit will play your game. Lead the way."  
  
*********************************************************************** "Gambit, come on out," John called.  
  
"NO! Gambit is not coming out in such a state. Not only is it demeaning but the color doesn't match Gambit's eyes."  
  
"Oh, it can't be that bad. Colossus has come to terms with it. He's a very becoming muse. Come on, I have to pick a muse and I'd hat to think that my decision was biased simply because you refused to show yourself."  
  
"Come, comrad, share in my misery," Colossus announced.  
  
"Okay, Gambit is coming out!" A moment later the closet door opened to reveal a pleasantly pink Gambit, complete with tiara and shawl.  
  
Pyro gasped, "Okay, now stand next to Colossus so I can pick one of you to play the role of the muse."  
  
"Gambit would like to take this moment to say that this dress does not match his eyes or his shoes." He poked his sneakered foot out from under the ball gown to stress his point.  
  
"Well, my purse does not match my dress," Colossus shot back. Indeed, the lime green purse looked rather odd against his maroon gown. "Why do we have to dress up anyways, Amara did not."  
  
"That's right, she didn't. But please remember that she was a real muse and not a cheap male stand-in."  
  
"Are you now saying that Gambit is cheap?"  
  
"No, but you are an imitation muse, not nearly as good as the real thing. Now, let's see, who's more inspiring?"  
  
The Cajun waved his hand in the air. "Oh, oh, pick Gambit."  
  
"Actually, Colossus I think would be best for my new vision."  
  
Colossus gave an odd smile. "I'm going to be a character in a novel."  
  
"And what is wrong with Gambit?"  
  
John looked at him in confusion. "What do you mean by 'what's wrong with you'?"  
  
"Why can Gambit not be your muse?"  
  
"Well, although I mush admit you look a bit more feminine there's a bit of a problem."  
  
"Gambit is listening."  
  
Pyro pointed to his chin. "I refuse to write about a bearded lady."  
  
"But, Gambit is not a lady."  
  
"Yes, but you're supposed to inspire me to write about a strong female character and I can't bring myself to write about one with facial hair."  
  
"So, just don't write it in."  
  
"But, even if I don't I'll still have you in mind and that would ruin it. Besides, I want to write a new version of Cinderella with her being a masked wrestler."  
  
"You've been watching too much Mucha Lucha," Gambit accused.  
  
"Maybe, but that's really none of your business since Colossus is now my muse until Amara comes crawling back to me."  
  
"You do realize that there's a snowball's chance in hell of that happening," Gambit told Colossus, who only nodded sadly. They had to find a way of getting Amara back to save themselves from Pyro's insanity. They had to formulate a plan, a good plan. But that unfortunately would probably take too long to save them. ********************************************************************** The End...or is it? I smell a sequel, although it may take a while since I have no clue how they'd get themselves out of this mess, at least for now. Thank you to all my loyal reviewers who have stuck with me during this long process, I realize it's been almost a year since I started this thing. Ah, well. Until we meet again...See ya! 


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